A typical Saturday

Yesterday, I woke up, had breakfast, and practiced my crokinole triple bank shot. It wasn't long until people were begging me to go up on the slopes. So I grabbed my skis and poles, and headed out into the great white. I performed my standard 'donut' as I parked my car at the lodge. Then I travelled up the mountain in the gondola. I saw signs that the gondola was about to break, so I opened the safety door and jumped to safety. Just in time. Unfortunately, I had landed in a rocky spot, so my skis are going to need to be waxed again. I was also a little disoriented, so I must have headed out in the wrong direction. I thought it was a little weird for me to be breaking fresh tracks but didn't pay much attention until I heard a roar behind me. The roar was a wall of snow! So I chucked my stuff (to make myself lighter), and as the avalanche caught up to me I began a freestyle swim to keep myself above the snow. I was lucky not to hit anything and to get to the top. There I saw that the avalanche had carried me far into unknown terrain. But, as a good employee of Lake Louise, I knew that snow only falls on the East side of the mountain (the other stuff is manufactured). So all I had to do was get to a side of the mountain that didn't have snow. It was lucky for me that I still had my snowshoes strapped to my back. So off I went. It wasn't long before I heard another roar behind me. I turned around to see that a cute momma bear was following me. So I quickly took off my snowshoes. As the bear charged toward me and then leaped to grab me, I sank into the snow, and the bear went straight over top of me. I knew I didn't have long, so I tunneled through the snow to the other side of the bear (snowshoes are great as shovels!). I popped out of the snow on the other side of the bear and whacked it on the head with my shovel. Of course, this knocked the bear right out, so for emphasis I said, "Bad Kitty," and went on my way. It took me about three hours to find my way back to the other side of the mountain. I was slowed down by a lot of animals running up to me to give me presents of nuts and berries, as thanks for beating up the bear, which was apparently the bully of that side of the mountain. Finally, I made it to the other side of the mountain, only to find that I had made it to my appartment... My car was still at the slopes. Tomorrow I'll have to walk back around to get my car.
But that's just a typical day.